In Southern Baptist life the typical tenure for a pastor is about three and one-half years. That means that in a life time of ministry a pastor can expect to begin and conclude a ministry in several churches.
I. A Gracious Ending
A. Informing About a Possible Leaving.
There are questions about whom one should inform about a probable leaving and when. Certainly this is a judgment call and there are several factors that affect the decision. In general, one would need to inform a key church leader (deacon chairman) of the agreement to preach at a church in view of a call… That information is to be kept confidential. If there are ministerial staff members it would be appropriate for them to know toward the end of the week before one goes to preach and be presented to a church as the pastoral candidate.
Seldom, if ever, would it be appropriate for the pastor to announce to his current congregation that he is scheduled to preach a “trial sermon” at another church. Some ministers do announce it publicly under the “guise” that we are family and need to know what is happening or about to happen. Usually that is a “disguised” means of a pastor desiring an outcry of desire for him to stay there with them.
B. Resignation
1. A positive statement.
The resignation should be a positive statement of appreciation to the church one is leaving. Probably, a third of the time, the leaving is not the most pleasant... there has been some conflict or pressure. The resigning pastor should accentuate the positive in his remarks. Certainly a resignation should not be a grenade tossed behind on the way out the door. One pastor in leaving suggested that after he left the church should fire all of the ministerial staff. You can imagine the mess he left behind for others to have to pick up.
If it is felt by a leaving pastor that there are some things that need to be known he should request a meeting with a key leadership group and not to the church at large.
2. A reasonable period.
If the pastor is resigning to go to another church a two to four week notice is adequate.
It is also wise for a pastor to give himself at least a one-week vacation time in between churches.
If the pastor is retiring, then a notice of no more than six months is adequate.
Pastors who have given longer notices indicate that if they had it to do all over again they would give a shorter notice.
A notice longer than six months puts the Pastor Search Committee in a quandary as to what they will do if they have a prospective pastor to present before the announced retirement time.
3. Be definite.
There needs to be a definite leaving time decided, stated and adhered to. A pastor who announces his retirement but indicates he might be willing to stay on a little longer if the church doesn’t have someone creates confusion. Some church members will say to the Pastor Search Committee” Don’t find anyone and he will stay longer”.
C. Understand the Congregation’s Response
The typical response when a pastor announces his resignation is one of grief.
1. They feel hurt.
They feel dropped, rejected. The pastor is leaving them for someone else. While they can accept intellectually and spiritually that the transition is of the Lord, emotionally they feel the loss. Someone they love, one who had their mother’s funeral and their daughter’s wedding, is leaving. The natural emotional response is grief.
2. Anger.
And one of the natural emotions of grief is anger. A departing pastor can expect some not to be happy about his leaving. This can be especially true if he is leaving them with a heavy debt behind.
Some persons with whom the pastor was closest may become emotionally distant. They are processing the grief, preparing for the pastor’s leaving permanently.
D. Leave Your House in Order
1. Leave things that belong to the church:
Furniture, books, cell phones, computers.
Sometimes there is uncertainty. Don’t assume it’s acceptable if there is not certainty.
2. Pay any debt you owe to the church.
E. Things the Church Should Do
1. Give a reception and gift.
If the parting was not the most positive a reception may not be acceptable. In that case the pastor and wife should be thanked at the end of the last service of his ministry; a gift should be given; an opportunity should be provided for people to speak to the departing pastor and his wife at the conclusion of the service.
2. Honor prior commitments:
Vacation time, convention, conferences. If prior to the pastor’s resignation he had planned to go to a conference and church funds had been budgeted for such a purpose, the pastor should be permitted to go to the conference at the church’s expense.
F. Relationship to The Former Church
1. Communicate the desired procedure for returning to conduct funerals and perform weddings.
2. A proper practice is to return only at the invitation of the new pastor.
3. Be careful about trying to maintain the pastoral relationship with frequent calls or emails. Let them come to love their new pastor.
II. A Good Beginning
A. Do Your Homework
1. Conflict history.
Learn about the church’s more recent past – 10-15 years, especially about serious conflicts that have occurred during that time. Contact the Director of Missions, former pastors, and a long tenured pastor in the community, to see if you’re about to enter a chronically – conflicted church.
2. Decision – making process.
Learn how decisions are made in the church. Are committees permitted to bring a recommendation directly to the church or does it have to go before the deacons first? Don’t assume that your new church will function like your former church. Especially don’t assume that you will have similar authority in the new church that you had in the previous one.
B. Understand the Stress of Change.
Be sensitive to how stressful significant change – like moving to a new church – is for you and your family. Such a transition can be especially difficult for teenage children. If possible, it is wise to have a brief vacation time between leaving one church and beginning at another. This enables one to relax, reflect, and prepare to enter the new assignment with energy.
C. A Good Entry Style
1. Be authentic.
Don’t pretend to be more than you are. Brag on them not on yourself.
2. Make few changes early on.
There are differences of opinion about this but the prevailing opinion seems to be that a better entry style is one of relationship building, listening, learning the norms, discerning what changes most need to be made, and which ones will require and merit your greatest investment of time and effort.
3. Understand their grief.
You assume that they are happy to have a new pastor, and they are – but they are also grieving the loss of a former pastor. One they knew and loved far more than they could know and love you. Understand the hesitantcy on the part of some to become your close friend.
4. Don’t overpromise.
Don’t promise to visit every home the first year unless you are determined to do it. One pastor promised he would make no changes while he was there, a promise he soon broke and rightfully so. He just should not have promised he would make none.
5. Visit elderly especially homebound immediately.
Ask for a list of all of the members 75 years of age and older to be on your desk upon your arrival. Visit three or four the first week. Work through that list quickly. It will establish you as a caring pastor.
6. Avoid excessive references to the former church.
Either bragging or critical statements about a former church quickly become negative. Focus on the new ministry.
D. Relationship to the Former Pastor
1. Affirm him
If you can’t do that at least don’t criticize him. If he deserves criticism the members will do enough of that without the new pastor’s contribution. Also don’t swallow all of the criticisms they make about him. If it is a hyper-critical church they will be similarly unfairly critical of you when you leave. Unhealthy churches scapegoat; they blame others for their problems and a pastor, current or former, is the usual target.
2. Invite back occasionally
As possible, invite the former pastor back for a special service, such as homecoming. It’s amazing how much a pastor is loved after he leaves.
3. Seek his advice, counsel
A former pastor may be your best resource for sound advice. He had to deal with some of the same people and problems that you have to deal with. He can often give you historical perspective that enables you to realize that it’s not just you with whom they had conflict; they had conflict with him too and probably with his predecessor as well.
4. If he continues excessive contact with people don’t overreact.
Your people can love two pastors at once. Their love for him is not an intended slight to you. The former pastor should have better professional ethics and scruples than to try to hang on to a former ministry but it is not worth the results to challenge and scold him. Invest yourself in being an effective pastor and most people will naturally shift their focus to you. Most members never understand if you confront and challenge him.
